The Mega Slide.

Dennis Brown is my neighbor who wins the award as most inventive dad.

He is the guy that invents and then makes loads of wacky projects for all of us to enjoy. It is truly a pleasure to live across the street from such a dad. He has made homemade go-carts, things that blast up in the trees, water cannons out of his sprinkler system, and even shows football games and other movies in HD on the side of his garage at night. (complete with hay bale seats)

But the funnest thing he has created is the mega slide. This incredible water slide was erected yesterday and I just HAD to show you pictures. Dennis and his family invites us over to slide twice a year and last year we were out of town. It is so much fun and kills a large strip of grass in his front yard which would make most dads think twice.


But not Dennis!

I didn't partake in the fun this time (back pain issues *sigh), but Lindsey did! (shown here with Meg)

Family Vacation

About thirty years, my aunt had the wisdom and foresight to buy a house in Steamboat Springs, Colorado. It is on the mountain, about a hundred yards from the ski slopes, and it's nestled into a wooded lot with trees and wildflowers in the summer (in the winter it is covered under about a gazillion feet of snow). A few years later, my dad bought into the house with her. So . . . here we are. For two whole weeks!

There is something about being in a new environment that is entertaining for children. I'm not just talking about the wonderful outdoors and rafting and hiking. I'm talking about being in a different house. We have not turned on the TV once, and the girls have discovered sledding down the carpeted stairs, the joys of a hot tub, and the thrill of performing plays. Here is their curtain call from their interpretation of Little Red Riding Hood (that is a wolf mask on Julia, if you're wondering).

Here's the other wonderful thing. My oldest daughter is ten. I love having little girls, but having older girls is a whole new world. Anne can do lots of really cool adult things with me that I like to do. Here we are hiking up to 9000 feet. It was wonderful and tough and there was no whining. From either of us.

Dad and little sisters spent the morning scoping out pawn shops for bikes that we can use while we're here. Oh, and we're wearing fleece at night and sitting by the fire. Just in case you were wondering.

sf

RANDOM PANIC - number four

I bolted up in bed this morning after a bizarro nightmare which most certainly caused Random Panic.

As all of my nightmares of late include, my hair had been cut super short. Not that there’s anything wrong with short hair - I’ve had several sexy short versions myself. But for some reason, my recent nightmares always include my having been forced to cut it short. And it was bushy and wouldn't behave. Just sayin’ - I had to set the scene for you.

As you know, KISS is on submission with several people right now, so in the dream, one of the agents called and invited me over to her apartment to get her comments. Cool right?! But as I entered the tiny NY apartment, the nightmare began. Manuscripts littered the dusty floor and the agent and her co-agent/reading partner handed me a mess of paper. I took it (which morphed into about seven manuscripts) and went home to read it.

Back at home I couldn’t even find it in the mini slush pile, so I went back to the apartment where she and her co-agent were still hanging out. Let me add that they looked like they were 20 and they were slobs to say the least.

“I can’t find my manuscript?” I told them nervously.

The other girl looked annoyed. She took the seven manuscript mess from me, easily found mine, and handed it back to me. (naturally)

I looked at the blank pages. “There isn’t any writing on it? Did you like it? Are there problems?”

“We don’t like it,” she assured me and rolled her eyes in cliched boredom.

“Show her the movie,” the main agent said.

She nodded and after turning on some hideously loud rock music, she walked over to the corner where she cranked up one of those old school projectors that shows movies on the wall.

There, before my eyes, played the claymation version of KISS & TELL - except it was horrific! The clay people sometimes became real-ish (in a creepy way) and looked nothing like I had envisioned. Also, tons of scenes were missing. I can hardly describe it without having real panic that I somehow didn't convey what I should have. Whew!

These two agents made a claymation movie out of my baby and it sucked!!!!

WE WON THE LOTTERY! among many other things...

Now I am not sure if you know this - but SF and I are extremely lucky. In fact, we have qualified - or WON literally fifty swedish lotteries according to our gmail account. Not only that, but several people from places such as Uganda have "discovered" large sums of cash that they want to split with us. Take this girl for example:

Dearest,

My dear I am writing this mail with tears and sadness and pains. I know it will come to you as a suprise since we haven't known or come across each other before, but kindly bear with me at this moment. I have a special reason why I decided to contact you. My situation at hand is miserable but I trust in God and hope you will be of my help. My name is Hanan Ibrahim Bare 25years old girl and I held from Republic of Niger the daughter of Late General Ibrahim Bare Ma?nassara the former President of the Republic of Niger.

I am constrained to contact you because of the maltreatment which I am receiving from my step mother. She planned to take away all my late father's treasury and properties from me since the unexpected death of my beloved Father. Meanwhile I wanted to travel to Europe, but she hide away my international passport and other valuable documents. Luckily she did not discover where I kept my father's File which contained important documents. I am presently staying in the Mission camp in Burkina Faso.

I am seeking for longterm relationship and investment assistance. My father of blessed memory deposited the sum of US$11.7 Million in one bank in Burkina Faso with my name as the next of kin. I had contacted the Bank to clear the deposit but the Branch Manager told me that being a refugee, my status according to the local law does not authorize me to carry out the operation. However, he advised me to provide a trustee who will stand on my behalf. I had wanted to inform my stepmother about this deposit but I am affraid that she will not offer me anything after the release of the money. Therefore, I decide to seek for your help in transferring the money into your bank account while I will relocate to your country and settle down with you.

Hmmm... what to do? What to do? I guess SF needs to clean up Duck Camp since apparently she is "settling down with us?!"

Does this ever happen to you?

Whatever...

Finally, I am getting some good pre-teen fodder for my books!

Kate had six girls over recently - and as they were all getting ready to go to the big Double Decker Arts Fest, I noticed they received a bunch of early a.m. texts. Discussion immediately ensued as to whether or not they wanted to walk with "them?"

"What's going on? who wants to walk with Y'all?" I asked, assuming it must be some other girls."

"Just Larry, Moe and Curly." (names have been changed to protect the adorable.)

"Sounds fun." I said.

"We don't want to walk with them."

I looked at her curiously.

"They'll want to talk?!" she explained.

I was confused. Who wouldn't want to walk, or talk with Larry, Moe or Curly?

"We want to SHOP!" explained Girl number 7. Apparently "shopping" trumps talking at this age.

"They just want to be near you, Sillies." I told them.

"Whatever..." they said with faces that indicated total boredom with the idea.

"Maybe you could let them carry your purses," I suggested. (totally kidding)

Later, I walked upstairs to see what was taking them so long. Apparently not caring so much about boys still requires a LOT of primping :-)


P.S. My new eyelash curler sucks big time. We shall see, but I might go back to the old kind.

P.P.S. I take that back. I have just replaced the battery and now I think it might be rather cool. I need to post pics.

Eyelash Trauma

When Katie called me panicking about her eyelash trauma the other day, I first told her that there was some sort of new prescription cream that causes eyelashes to grow. Since I love a good "guinea pig" to try things out before I waste my own money, I encouraged her to try it out (actually, that's one product I think I'll skip--something brand spankin' new and prescription that you use that close to your eye scares me a little). I did assure her that eyelashes do grow back--just like any other hairs that you pluck.

Then, I shared my own eyelash story with her. When I was four or five years old, I had eyelashes that most women would kill for. And, I got sick of my mother's friends coming up to me and goo-gooing over my lush lashes. So . . . one day, I took a pair of scissors and cut off all of my eyelashes on my right eye. My mother busted me before I got to the left one.

Poor mom went absolutely crazy. She grabbed the nearest magazine, shoved it in my face, and said, "Because of what you have done, you will never look like her!".

Of course, since all I cared about was football and digging up worms, I was thrilled with her prognosis for my future. I told her that I was glad that I would never look like that ugly woman and proceeded to take a black ballpoint pen and draw devil horns and a mustache on the cover girl.

I can't believe that Katie is out of town, and I won't be able to witness her dreaded "bald eye". I'm sure that she will still look like the cover girl that she is, with or without the heated eyelash curler (I think I'll skip out on that one, too--one slip of the wrist and it's barbecued eyeballs). We are going to miss each other--she comes back this weekend just as I'm leaving for two weeks in Steamboat Springs, Colorado. I checked the weather this morning--seventies during the day and forties at night. Bliss.

sf

My apologies.

If you haven't noticed, I have been fairly absent from blog posting lately. This is due to a number of things, including Blog Block, Revisionitis, Extreme Traveling, and Summer Slowdown - which involves markedly less hours online, and a much higher intake of fried pickles. Just kidding.

SF, on the other hand, has been upping her intake of blogohol and has been sweating blog posts out of her pores. Thanks SF!

I am now in Virginia, so I thought I'd tell you about a couple of things that have happened while here.

Are you ready?

I yanked out about a third of the eyelashes over my right eye. I kid you not, I was putting on my new Bare Escentuals mascara (which I ADORE) and with curler in hand, slipped somehow and accidentally pulled out a chunk of eyelashes!!! YOWZA! Panic ensued and an early a.m. phone call to Carrie (SF's and my hairdresser). She advised me to trash the old school eyelash curler and buy the new battery operated heated kind that acts like a mini curling iron. Do y'all use these? I can't wait to get home and get one!

Today we went to a local parade that was so cute and felt like we were in some random New England town. My favorite parade event was a group of 40 somethings (about 16 of them) that marched together - each carrying a non-matching lawn chair (like the above photo). Their leader would blow the whistle and they would either just open the chairs and sit for a minute, or they would wave their chairs into "the wave," or they might make some random formation or sing some silly song, but they were having a ball and were loads of fun to watch. It was adorable.

I will post pics soon (and NO - not of my bald eye).

HAPPY FOURTH Y'ALL!!!!!! I have to go now. Gotta help Dad fire up the grill.